43 – Open Relationships & Standing Up For Your Sexuality

Topics Of Discussion

In this episode of Pleasure Rising, Sarah talks with Ev’Yan Whitney about her personal life. Ev’Yan shares who she is behind closed doors; including her self care practises and early sexual narratives that shaped her sex life with her husband. They then discuss how those narratives shaped Ev’Yan’s relationship and eventually how it evolved into an open relationship. The conversation concludes with how she is confidently able to share her sexual evolution and sexuality work online.

Moving Beyond Sexual Narratives

Ev’Yan shares with us how she moved past sexual narratives that were passed onto her. She began reviewing her own thoughts about sex and the emotions which she associated with sex. Coming from this place, she began uncovering an inventory of stories which pertained to her sex and sexuality. Focusing also on creating space for what she did want sexually and as a sexual person.

Open Relationships

Ev’Yan opens up about her polyamorous relationship with her husband. Sharing how he first informed her of his feelings for another person. Ev’Yan initially gave him a ‘hell no’, and this led to the conversation of divorce. Further down the relationship, Ev’Yan realised that she was Queer, and wanted to use non-monogamy as a way for her to explore her sexuality. They then discussed how they could build non-monogamy into their relationship.

Ev’Yan shares the effect of discussing non-monogamy in any relationship, and the power of healing that this conversation can bring. She also mentions the depth of discovery that can come from furthering ones healing by reading. She specifically mentions The Ethical Slut By Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy and Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships By Tristan Taormino.

Lastly, we explore how her relationship affects her wider family.

Pleasure Rising Questions

Ev’Yan’s answers to our PR Questions:

Favourite sex toy —. Chakrubs Rose Quartz and Amethyst Wand and a We Vibe Touch

Reading — A book on death, two short story books. One by Stephen King.

Last thing she googled — Married at First sight info and threads.

If she were a cocktail — She would be a sensuous cocktail. A drink that could create some feels and energy for you to be your own sensuous one.


Ev’Yan Whitney is a sex educator, sex activist, and sexuality doula who facilitates, educates, and holds space for women and femme-identifying folks who want to step out of shame, fear, and trauma and into erotic empowerment. She’s the host of The Sexually Liberated Woman podcast and the creator of the wildly successful Sensual Selfie Challenge on Instagram.

She has been featured in publications such as Cosmo, Glamour and Bitch, as well as Girlboss, Buzzfeed, and Huffington Post. You can find out more about Ev’Yan’s work at and see her brazenly showing off her sexuality on Instagram.


Listen To Episode 43

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43 – Open Relationships & Standing Up For Your Sexuality

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