033 – How to let go of expectations + judgements around sex with Barbara Carrellas
Barbara Carellas talks about how she developed the Urban Tantra, a life coaching approach to achieve sacred sexuality in life.
Starting by sharing her upbringing which was rooted in a traditional Catholic family which was living in the Great Depression, she was taught not to talk about sexuality much. However when the AIDS crisis in the 1980s emerged and many of her friends were affected by the disease, she was moved to explore sexuality deeper in order to help her friends to have safer sex – which has a spiritual component and healing quality. She then turned into the study of eastern forms of sexuality, as they focus more on energy rather than genitals and bodily fluids. In her pursuit, she found Tantra, which is the embodied spiritual philosophy that includes but not limited to sex.
Nowadays, tantra is more accepted in society, as more people have heard and are genuinely curious about it. Urban Tantra Practitioners like Barbara have made it become less rarefied and mysterious, and with life training, tantric ways can help people to have a better sex life and achieve a more fulfilled consciousness of the body and spirit.
For people who wish to start practising the Urban Tantra methods, Barbara recommends us to learn about basic tantric sex techniques, starting from letting go of any expectations of sex which can create some limitations into achieving pleasure and satisfaction. Many of us may have been pressured to placing importance on about orgasms, while in fact, we also need to tend to our emotional tensions release. Emotiongasm, like Barbara stated, can bring us closer to spirituality simply by delving into our consciousness.
The next step of Urban Tantra method is to practise breathing. According to Barbara, anyone can transform their sex life with breathing. Letting out built up emotional toxic tension in the body is crucial.
In the future, she also aspires to bring more awareness for the ecosexuality movement, as she believes that by appreciating nature as a lover, people can become spiritually conscious about other goodness as well.
Sexual narratives that shaped her life.
– Traditional family upbringing.
– AIDS crisis in the 80s changed her views in life and sexuality.
Pursuit of learning about safer sex.
– Eastern forms of sexuality which emphasize more on energy.
– Tantra benefits.
Basic tantric sex techniques
– Urban tantric experience to focus more on emotional release.
– Harmonizing breathing and energy.
What the future holds for sexuality according to Barbara.
– People become more conscious sexually.
– Greater ecosexuality movement.
Her favourite sex toy is: Cordless Classic Magic Wand.
She is listening to: Angélique Kidjo’s Talking Heads cover album, and anything by Aretha Franklin.
She is reading: An academic book by S.J. Langer, which is a book about therapy for the transgender community.
Want to learn more about Barbara Carellas?
You can find her on Instagram here
And her Twitter here
And her website here
Get Barbara’s Urban Tantra book
Learn about Breath and Energy Orgasms mp3
Learn more about the Urban Tantra Professional Training Program
Learn about the Urban Tantra Experience
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